Pro-Bowl Betting Preview

A pick ‘em? Seriously? Did the oddsmakers just say, “f*** it, I’m exhausted” and phone this one in? The NFC and AFC won’t be sending their best rosters to the forefront this weekend in Hawaii, but it’s still set to be an entertaining waste of time. What else are you going to do on Sunday? Spend time with your girlfriend? Come on, man. Grow some balls. It will be even more entertaining if you bet on the game.

The NFC always tries too hard in the Pro Bowl, and the players from the AFC are always so damned tired that they don’t have the energy to put up the effort. This year’s winner of the “Try Too Hard”? My guess is Michael Turner from the Atlanta Falcons.

While we’re here, I’ve been meaning to give my rundown of the league’s real MVP’s. But we might was well make it a list of the best Pro Bowl snubs. And we start with the unlikeliest of heroes…

Special Mention - Gus Ferrotte (Minnesota Vikings)
He’s come a long way from bashing his head in to a concrete wall. My guess here is that if Gus was playing in the post season instead of Tavaris Jackson, the Vikings had a chance against the Eagles. I mean, you’ve got a guy who threw 12 touchdowns and a hilarious amount of picks (15 in total) but he also managed to win games at the helm for the Vikings. If he stays healthy enough to stay in the starting spot, then my guess is that the Vikings would’ve cruised past the Eagles.

My favorite part of watching and betting on Ferrotte this season was that you simply could never get mad at the guy. He wasn’t Sage Rosenfels, throwing games in the dirt or losing games on purpose like Dan Orlovsky. He was trying his darndest and his best to win games, and when he made mistakes, you were always reminded that, “Oh yeah…it’s Gus!”. He’s like that friend you want to depend on, but he always lets you down, and either way you always give him a fourteenth or thirty-second chance.

Defensive Selection - Bernard Pollard (Kansas City Chiefs)
We really have to thank Pollard for one big reason – he proved that ANYTHING can happen in the NFL. This was the craziest season in recent history, and Pollard was the opening act when he took out Tom Brady in Week 1. What did this do? It took the Patriots down from “chasing immortality” to “chasing for a playoff spot”. It also opened up the entire league and gave everyone a shot at the Super Bowl. The Cardinals were there even. Nobody was like, “Well, the Patriots are going to win it again…might as well give up now”. Pollard’s clipping of Brady opened up the flood gates of possibilities. Finally we were on a level playing field, and finally we didn’t have to deal with the arrogance of New England fans.

Favorite Comeback EVER - Daunte Culpepper (Detroit Lions)
Culpepper is so bad these days that it’s hard to imagine he posted one of the best quarterbacking seasons in NFL history. Yep. Remember when he was a fantasy juggernaut? Remember when he was bombing deep balls to Randy and Cris Carter? Remember when we weren’t laughing at him? Since then, we’ve had the Party Boat debacle, him getting fired in Miami before the pre-season started, watching him complete about six passes in Oakland only to retire and then land in Detroit. How desperate have times come in Detroit when they’re turning to Daunte Culpepper? Was anyone as excited as me to see him sign anywhere? Did anyone care when he retired? No! Did anyone care when he came back? This can only be topped if Marques Tuiasosopo held a press conference to announce that he is “leaving the game he loves so much, that has given so much to him” only to return as a back up for the Cincinnati Bengals…and yet nobody noticed. Go away, Daunte! Nobody likes you!!!

Wide Receiver – Braylon Edwards (Cleveland Browns)
Hey, listen up, Cleveland! Are you that stupid? Are you that brainless to forget that you’re the GODDAMN CITY OF CLEVELAND AND NOBODY WANTS TO LIVE THERE EXCEPT THE PEOPLE THAT HAVE TO AND THE PEOPLE WHO PLAY FOR THE BROWNS?! Braylon Edwards caught 55 balls for 873 yards and three scores and he’s by far your best player.

On top of that – he wants to play in Cleveland! Who the hell wants to play for such a dysfunctional franchise like the Cleveland Browns?! They were lucky to be good last year. They came back to Earth this year.

Cleveland, you should be thankful that a player of Braylon’s caliber is willing to put up with the crapfest you call a city.

Coach Selection - Jon Gruden (Coach, Tampa Bay Bucaneers)
As a Gruden backer, mostly because after reading his book he was so convincing as a likeable, charismatic hard worker, I was a little shocked to learn that Tampa had cleared house, starting with Gruden. Was it the fact that Gruden only won them one Superbowl and took them to the playoffs in every season at the helm except one? Or was it more the fact that his ineptitude at the draft, coupled with his inability to develop young talent or bolster the coming years’ with serviceable replacements for a tattered and gaining roster?

Or how about the fact that it looked like nobody liked him? Michael Clayton threw a kegger when Gruden was let go. Keenan McCardell and Simeon Rice were so overjoyed that justice had been served on Gruden that they called Keyshawn Johnson for a three-way just to celebrate. Did anybody like playing for Gruden?

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